‘Last day at work’ letter

Dear Co-Workers,

As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type “Today is my last day.”

For nearly as long as I’ve worked here, I’ve hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake – it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.

Over the past three years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects – an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, “mostly satisfactory.” That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after even a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory scotch.

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.
But to those few souls with whom I’ve actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:

To Rudy: I will always remember sharing lunch with you, despite having clearly labeled it with my name.

To Eileen: Best wishes on your ongoing campaign to popularize these “email forwards.” I sincerely hope you receive that weekend full of good luck, that hug from an old friend, and that baby for your dusty womb.

To Felix: I left a new wristwatch on your desk. It is so that you might be able to still tell time even without your hourly phone call to let me know the copier is jammed. (Call Steven – he’ll come by.)

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.

Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.

Very truly yours,
Mr. X

Source : http://www.quora.com/Comedy/What-are-some-of-the-funniest-last-day-at-work-letters

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Best write-up on Rahul Dravid

This piece from Kunal Pradhan is in my opinion the best write up on Rahul and the way he sums it up is brilliant.

Rahul Dravid took a single off the first  ball of a new spell by Glenn McGrath and watched from the non-striker’s  end as Mohammad Kaif battled for survival over the next five deliveries.

It was October of 2004. The city of oranges was in full bloom,  celebrating the end of a hot summer and licking its lips at the prospect  of a citrusy winter. At the VCA stadium, India,  led by Dravid, was trying to save the “final frontier” on an unusually  green pitch from a marauding Australian team that had already won the  first Test in Bangalore.

Tottering at 75-4 in reply to Australia’s first innings 398, the hosts  had reached a point on the second day of the match where the Kaif-Dravid  partnership was the only thing that could, perhaps, save them from  imminent defeat.

At the end of that rare mid-afternoon over from McGrath, the batsmen met  for a conference in the middle of the pitch. “He’s bowling out of his  skin,” Dravid said, and Kaif, having faced five unplayable deliveries,  smiled back in agreement.

“It’s going to be tough,” he continued, “but we have a chance if we can see off this spell. Otherwise it’s all over.”

Kaif said he would do his best, but Dravid told him that he had a better  plan: For the rest of McGrath’s spell, Kaif would stay at the other end  against Warne, while Dravid would take on the might of the Australian  fast bowler playing his 100th Test.

This, Dravid hastily explained, was not a reflection on Kaif’s calibre  especially since he had been in good form over the last couple of  months. It was just something that he, being the more experienced  player, needed to do at this pivotal moment of the match.

“It’s settled then,” Dravid said, waving away any polite opposition that  Kaif may have had. “No more singles until McGrath is in the attack.  Forget about the scoreboard. You stay put at your end. I will see him  off from this side.”

Dravid scampered across to the business end off the second ball of Warne’s next over and resolutely marked his guard.

Over the next 18 deliveries, McGrath and Dravid were engaged in a kind  of battle that defines Test cricket. McGrath tried everything to entice  Dravid into playing a false stroke, to get him to fish outside off, to  york him, and to take him by surprise with a short ball. Dravid,  stubborn and determined, soaked in the pressure, lunging forward to pat  away deliveries directed at his stumps, and refusing to go near anything  more than an inch outside off.

“It was a spell of bowling that is best watched from the non-striker’s  end,” Kaif said later. “I can’t think of any other batsman who would’ve  volunteered, let alone insisted, to do what Rahul was doing.”

India scored six runs in the next five overs (a two and a four off Kaif’s bat  against Warne) as Dravid cocooned himself from temptation. In the  commentary box, the experts criticised him for going into a shell, for  being over-defensive, for appearing to be clueless against quality  bowling on a seaming track. They didn’t realise that Dravid had assessed  the situation and chosen to face the firing squad alone.

This cat-and-mouse game went on for the next twenty minutes. Two more  overs, Dravid told Kaif at the end of McGrath’s third, and we’ll be home  dry. “He’s starting to get tired now.”

Kaif patted out another maiden, and Dravid negotiated the first five  deliveries of McGrath’s next over without mishap. But McGrath, by now  aware of what was going on, got a ball to leave Dravid ever so slightly,  and kiss the edge before flying straight to Warne in the slip cordon.

The scoreboard recorded an innocuous 140-ball, 173-minute 21 against Dravid’s name. India lost the match two days later.

In the end, it was a small, almost insignificant knock: a tick in the  failures column for a batsman who has succeeded against fiery spells all  over the world. But it showed that he always, unfailingly, even during  his forgotten innings, put the team before himself. More than his  ability, or his records, it was this that made Rahul Dravid special.

Update – May

Its been more than 6 months since my last post and a lot of things have happened since then.

I have officially finished my college life and now interning at one of the metropolitan cities of India. Though not a good experience with the city as such, the people here have been exceptionally good leave for the occasional one or two whining kinds.

I have been doing computer aided audit testing or more commonly known as CAAT which involve fairly less amount of grey cells involvement and more of a monotonous job as one keeps on doing them.

Also,  I have come across various exciting concepts in mathematics which I will try to share in my future posts.

On the other hand, I have just started solving a competition at Kaggle, the code chef of data analytics questions. I am in particular dealing with a competition where in you are provided with data regarding the face coordinates and keypositions of all these faces as sample data and you have to go ahead and create a generalised algorithm which would identify and give the keypositions of any face in consideration ( I hope I have explained this correctly, or at least this is what I seem to have understood from the question.)

For more details please visit – https://www.kaggle.com/c/facial-keypoints-detection/

It seems to require a good level of understanding of the open source software R, which is widely used in the data analytics world. So I have decided to go ahead and learn my bit and try and finish this competition so that I would gain fair amount of experience regarding both R and algorithm development in facial analysis/recognition modelling.

That’s all for now.